One thing for you to consider for future writing assignments is conclusions. Conclusions should be opportunities to go further than saying "in conclusion" and re-stating your thesis, which is what students sometimes do.
First, don't bother with "in conclusion." Your reader should be able to tell its your conclusion without you saying that. Instead, use your words to strike a different tone. Instead of sounding "argumentative" and defending your argument, allow yourself to write as if you're doing something else.
For example, you could write as if you were composing a personal essay. Then you could share a personal experience, and talk about how that experience fits into your argument. Another thing you could do is tell someone else's story. Wind down the essay by making it personal in that way - tell a reader how someone specifically was affected by the issues you're writing about. For instance, you could discuss how a hurricane changed the life of someone you read about. The goal here is for your to make your reader feel something, rather than make them know something.
Another positive approach to conclusions is to point your reader in a new and exciting direction that they hadn't considered. This could be a chance to take the essay into a new direction. Bring up an issue that you feel is connected to your argument, but that really points towards another entire essay you could write on the subject. In this case, you could even introduce new evidence. For instance, for your final assignment on climate debt you could talk about slavery. Why slavery? Because slavery used to be "business as usual" and now it isn't. This means that people are capable of making large scale changes to economies if they get organized. You could do this for other subjects as well. The point is to make your reader feel that your argument is meaningful by showing them all the different possibilities that they could imagine are connected to it.
Sample essay with conclusion that includes another source
Defining Life
The success of the CAFO system was started and produced
by man. It is safe to assume that with the kind of success the food industry
developed, a great deal of responsibility would follow. Unfortunately, very little responsibility has
been shown from the people at the top of this corporate ladder. In fact, it’s
been the opposite of safe to the health of life in general on this planet. In The CAFO Reader edited by Daniel Imhoff,
one can learn that the organization of life by this system is taking over more
and more land as time goes by. Doing this has caused major climate change and
toxicity to our planet by pushing nature to the side. Moreover, the CAFO system
is also using scientists to alter the reproduction in factory farmed animals.
This means that the DNA is manipulated by the CAFO system. It is critically
important to know this information matters because the CAFO system is partially
responsible for the climate change and the loss of the natural order in life on
this planet. The persistence of these actions will only bring dire consequences
for everyone and everything if change soon isn’t acted upon man itself.
Global disorder is one of the consequences brought upon
by the growing of livestock production. In a passage from The CAFO Reader DIET FOR A HOT PLANET by Anna Lappe, she writes, “Scientific
consensus has confirmed that increasing levels of human-caused releases of
greenhouse gases in the atmosphere are trapping more and more heat… more
extremes of droughts and floods; more weather-related disasters, including
tornadoes and hurricanes” (Lappe 241). Basically, greenhouses gases include
methane and carbon dioxide all which are toxic and work together acting as a
shield to the planet’s atmosphere. This impacts climate change because the
confinement of factory farmed animals prevents them from using the release of
these gases (their manure) to fertilize on the grass they are supposed to feed
on. One, they do not feed on the grass they evolved from anymore, and two, the
emissions of these gases cannot be cycled back onto the fields of feed as
fertilizer because simply put, there is too much waste. From half a century ago to today, this country
has doubled its meat consumption thanks to the CAFO system. Yet, changing the
carnivorous diet a lot of us are on is possible and would help reduce the
global disorder we are already seeing. Choosing alternatives like organic or
vegetarian proves statistically that less fossil fuels and toxic gases are cut
down on; hence, a lot less heated planet if everyone contributes for the better
cause.
Not only is climate change effected but life is harmed as
well under the CAFO system. The confinement of animals produces more waste that
surrounding land cannot safely absorb so it ends up being totally
disadvantageous to life in nearby areas. In The
CAFO Reader, there is a short passage, CAFO MANURE IS A BENIGN RESOURCE
where the author writes, “When lagoons burst, develop leaks, or are overwhelmed
by flood events, as often happens, millions of gallons of manure reach
waterways and spread microbes that can cause gastroenteritis, fevers, kidney
failure, and death” (Imhoff 85). This
means it is common for the manure that comes from the CAFOs to be responsible
for the massive fish kills and other aquatic life. These frequent accidents are
also harming people. Workers in the CAFOs become seriously ill if they don’t
die from the deadly gas hydrogen sulfide that is produced from decomposing
manure. Then, there are the people that live anywhere near a CAFO who can smell
the stench from the excess wastes and becoming ill from the airborne gases. The
natural order of life on a real farm would’ve never caused any of these man
made problems. It is harmful to everyone and everything on the planet to
support CAFOs that pollute the atmosphere and harm if not completely kill off
life. However, changing the support system and purchasing from organic and/or
local markets is a step. It helps restore the natural order of life from its
traditional ways; a farm that is able to manage its plants and its animals altogether.
On top of the climate change and the toxicity of our
planet, the CAFO system has put effort to remove the ‘mothering’ genes in the
animals and make their own kind of breed. In a passage from The CAFO Reader, GENETICALLY ENGINEERED
FARM ANIMALS by Jaydee Hanson, she writes, “…the livestock industry is
developing animals that are permanently altered at the genetic level to better
fit the CAFO system – redesigning the very biology of animals so they can
become more “efficient” production machines and thereby maximize industry
profits” (Hanson 273). So, instead of changing their system to fit the physical
and psychological needs of the factory farmed animals from all the negative
consequences it has brought upon life on the planet, the CAFOs want to use
science and technology to start breeding their own kind of animals for more
money. Scientists who are practicing this incorporate the genes from other
animals, bacteria, fungi into the genome (the DNA) of the test embryo. Although
none of this has been yet approved, when and if it does, all it will probably
require is labeling to differentiate the products. This process doesn’t even
begin to sound safe let alone what kind of chemicals a consumer would intake by
eating engineered meat. With such uncertainty and so much at stake with a
science-based idea, this shouldn’t even be allowed. However, the manipulation of
nature by the CAFO system can only be stopped by society before it is actually
accepted by law.
By definition, life to the CAFO system is consumed by the
growth of economic power at any expense. They use the average human being to
kill themselves with industrialized food, to treat each other harmfully, and
this behavior will only lead to our own death.
How can one care about the health of life on their planet if they don’t
start with their own? In The Eleventh Hour, directed by Leila and Nadia Conners, the film shares a vivid
scene informing that the human mind was the key to survival but the
acceleration of the mind has become our tragedy. We are committing suicide by
thinking we are superior or far worse, separated from nature when in fact, we
are a part of it. Man has taken very little consideration of the environment
and experts in the film believe this disconnection is now the revenge of the
ancient Gods. Perhaps this is true but the actions of each individual will
speak louder than those words once we take part to be in harmony with the
planet and nature again. In the end, the irresponsibility caused by the CAFO
system falls on each and every one of us to change the turmoil man himself
started on our mother home, Earth.
Bibliography
- Imhoff, Dan. The CAFO reader: the tragedy of industrial animal factories. Healdsburg, Calif.: Watershed Media ;, 2010. Print.
Essay#1
Imagine you’re writing a story and your goal is to bring
together a certain group of people. What better way to get these people
together than to unite them through emotional empathy and to give them one
common enemy to unleash their emotions towards. This was the case in the film The Birth of a Nation and in the short
story A Red Record. These works of
art display violence as a tool in which the audience of these works can
empathize and be driven to action through a common message emphasized in the
works being observed. In The Birth of a
Nation we are shown a small group of white people being attacked by black
people, with the target audience being white Americans we understand that the
message of violence is meant to unite the white males to take physical action
and go out and avenge the white race against the colored enemy. In A Red Record the author is trying to
unite the black population by unveiling the unjustified evil that white men are
capable of. Through the violent behavior of the white man the blacks are meant
unite though understanding and sadness, not aggression and anger.
In the film The Birth of a Nation we are shown a
small southern town under siege by a group of black soldiers from the north
during the reconstruction era of the United States. The civil war is over but
these soldiers are attacking the white men in town, looting the buildings and
trying to get at the white women. The film shows a small group of white women
who have barricaded themselves against the black soldiers trying to enter their
home. The violent nature of this scene is meant to trigger an emotional
response of disgust and offense in the targeted audience who at the time were
white men. The violence against the white man in this film is meant to unify
the white audience against the unjust and cruel monsters that were the black
men. When all seems lost is the film a large group of Ku Klux Klan soldiers
ride into town and save the day. The violence now shown in this scene is now a
symbol of perseverance and justice for the white victims of this town. This
display of violence is now switched to a positive message of American values
that if all white men come together they will overcome the black menace and
maintain their peaceful American life and preserve the values taught to them by
the white people that came before them.
In the story A Red
Record we now have the unification of the black population but not to rise
against or dominate their oppressors but to unify them through sympathy and to
come together against injustice and a hunger for equality by showing the
violent nature of their oppressors. The short story centers around a town in
Paris Texas hell bent on crucifying a black man named Henry Smith for the
murder of a four year old white girl named Myrtle Vance, The daughter of
Officer Vance. The story demonstrates how hatred and an unjustified feeling of
self-righteousness can lead to acts of cruelty and total disregard for human
life. This is evident in the way the story tells of how the murder of a
sheriff’s young daughter is extremely exaggerated in its description and that
the suspect had obviously had to be a black man who committed this crime out of
revenge “Nothing is farther from the truth than that statement. It is a cold
blooded, deliberate, brutal falsehood which this Christian (?) Bishop uses to
bolster up the Infamous plea that the people of Paris were driven to insanity
by learning that the little girl had been viciously assaulted, choked to death,
and then torn to pieces by a demon in human form” (Wells,86). The black man was
never given a fair hearing and no proof was ever given in order to condemn the
suspect. The suspect is caught, paraded before a massive audience where his
clothes are ripped to shreds, brutally tortured by having his body poked by red
hot brands, his skin terribly burned inch by inch, his lungs being suffocated
by the smoke of his burning flesh, his life slowly and painfully taken in the
public, “Every groan from the bead, every contortion of his body was cheered by
the thickly packed crowd of 10,000 persons” (Wells, 92). The people cheered as
thought at a baseball game, each time Henry screamed was equivalent to a player
getting a good hit of the baseball. The author describes the brutal vengeance
taken by the Vance family “After burning the hands and legs, the hot
irons-plenty of fresh ones being at hand-were rolled up and down Smith’s stomach,
back and arms. Then the eyes were burned out and irons were thrust down his
throat” (Wells, 92). This short description of hatred described the un
relenting hatred for a person believed of committing an equally horrific crime.
The author strips the avengers of all morality and in blind vengeance shows how
the white people of Paris are no better than the monster they made Henry to be.
Lastly to show the ultimate display of evil, the people erase Henry from
existence by setting his body of fire by being covered in kerosene and lighting
the body fire. The audience now watches peacefully as if some form of closure
is being performed for the public. The fact that Henry Smith’s body was
cremated against his will or the will of his family is a display of disregard
for his humanity; he was now less than a person and forced that fact to be
acknowledged by anyone who cared about him. There would be no body to clean or
to have a prayer read upon, there would be no remains to collect or ashes to
scatter because the crowd carried the pieces of charcoal left behind as
souvenirs of the event. The gruesome violence depicted here is just the extreme
behavior displayed but the more grotesque behavior lies in the actions of the
crowd witnessing the violence. This display is meant to expose the cruelty and
injustice of the white man during a post-civil war era. The exposure of this
event was an example of what the normal behavior was during these times, the
display of violence is the fuel which feeds the need for justice and equality.
The fact that a man can be convicted and executed without trail was a normal
action taken by white southerners and by shedding light to these terrible acts
comes the protest of equality and proof that the white man can be the monsters
that they make the black man to be.
Both writers have
depicted violent stories with the agenda of creating a certain action among its
intended viewers or readers. Whether to excite the white man into a violent
frenzy in order to bring about white dominance or to sadden the black man by
showing the cruel nature of the white oppressor. The works of art use violence
as a catalyst to fuel the fires of emotion. Violence in the media can be a
powerful thing it can be a tool for good or evil. The violence between one group
of people against another will always separate the parties involved. No matter
the argument or reason for the violence, it will always be a defining point in
the label of the group. Movies show heroes committing violence in order to save
the day, we never see superman reasoning with a monster with kind words in
order to save Lois Lane instead beating it to death in order to save the day,
The newspaper does not tell stories of religious extremist marching peacefully
or making attempts to resolve their conflict through peaceful words, instead
they depict monsters who murder others to prove points and send messages. The
point is that violence written or filmed has been a successful tool in
revealing emotions of the intended audience. Whether a form of guiding ones
judgment or exposing an emotion, violence is a great tool for the media and its
quest to entertain the masses through a positive or negative message.
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