Highlights from class blogs

Some of the great work being done on our class blogs this week

Abraham's blog has an awesome picture and contains two fairly good quotes. Remember, Abraham, that 
direct quotation is not the same thing as summary!

Althea's blog contains a lot of terrific information; she's clearly done the reading! Remember, Althea, that you need to put this information into your own words! Also, you present a lot of information that could be arranged better into paragraphs. Let's work on that together. 

Andrea's blog has some great paragraphs and original lines, such as this one: "I agree that humans beings are the principle cause of too many catastrophes around the world and that global warming is real. I think we need to pay attention to the disasters caused in many countries by certain changes that had occurred before in the past and still occurring so, we can to come out with our own conclusions from it."Andrea has also done a great job in paragraphs three and four summarizing the course material. Everyone in the class needs to read how she chose to introduce that information -- Andrea, maybe you can share your strategies with the class on Thursday, or write about it on your blog. 

Anna's blog shares some of the information she read, and ends on a really interesting paragraph about how we might "care" for the planet. Anna's sensitivity here is insightful. Anna, consider working on ways to  introduce readers to the texts you're using, and finding ways to bring in more information. Is this blog 250 words?

Carolina's blog has great style and voice. But we can't find your second blog!

Daouda's blog is loaded with information and wisdom. Dauoda has some passionate ideas to share based on the reading that he's done. Remember, Dauoda,that we have to tell the difference between your sentences and the information you get from the reading! Let's work on paraphrase for Thursday. 

Dennis: see Carolina!

Elane has some interesting points in her blog. Some of the ideas in her sentences need to be explained -- such as "stature" in the second paragraph. And she needs to think about what Erjon needs to think about - keeping one idea to a sentence. 

Erjon's blog is ambitious, and contains some admirable sentences, like this: "Many organizations like IPCC in 1995 have concluded that humans were worming the planet and the reasons why are many devastated examples like: 1- Burn of fossil fuel to produce electricity.2- High production of cars running on burning fuel.3- Cut of many trees for business purposes.4- Heavy industries and factories releasing toxic smoke in the air."Erjon, what you can work on is this: re-reading your work. Some of your sentences switch ideas as they go on - consider writing ONE big idea per sentence, and then END the sentence!

Look at the way Jian Li's blog has phrases at the beginning of his sentences to guide his readers: "For instance, the coal and oil burning are releasing more than 100 million of SO2 every year to the atmosphere. Mankind is exhausting the fossil fuels after generations and generations. In addition, people are releasing many toxic substances to the environment, which can harm our own people and our environment. On the other hand, the author also said that if we want to the climate we should “guide mankind towards global, sustainable, and environmental management." Well done, Jian Li! You should consider re-reading your sentences, though, too, to stay on ONE subject per sentence.

Kevin has written another fairly solid blog - anyone thinking about their sentences should read how Kevin creates his. On the flip side, Kevin needs to read Daouda's blog and Andrea's blog, because he leaves out a lot of information from the reading...the blog is too short! 

Mahanaj's blog shines through with her writing voice, which is very cool! She reminds me of Anna's blog in that way. Like Erjon, she presents some good information from the reading, but her sentences can also move in unexpected directions suddenly. Mahanaj, keep it up, but read over your work!

Miguelina, see Dennis!

I really like the question that Naomi raises at the end of her blog - I think she could find some common ground with other members of the class on that. I also think she needs to explain the meaning of some details that she presents: why mangroves? what do you mean the surface of the Earth has been transferred? Your readers need to know!

Rashad, see Miguelina!

RJG's blog contains some great observations, and does refer to the reading. But it's hard to tell where the information is coming from -- what's the sources for some of the ideas? How can readers tell your ideas from another persons? And why can't we have separate paragraphs that focus on similar ideas?

Read how thoughtful Victor gets in his blog, here: "In the essay “The ‘Anthropocene’” by Paul J. Crutzen and Eugene F. Stoermer the focus is on the modification made by human action, which means that the climate that we are confronting nowadays was made by us and our forefathers because of the land modification, taking down natural air filters, in other words threes and plants, whose jobs is to filter part of the carbon dioxide that’s on the air we breathe throughout their photosynthesis." Notice how the entire sentence DEFINES his key idea, "modification." Also, notice how in the rest of his blog he divides up his paragraphs by using each one to focus on a different essay. Some other students did that, too. Finally, read his last paragraph -- especially Mahanaj and Anna!

The prize for the best organized blog might be Vince's blog! Everyone needs to see how he organized his information and introduced his sources.